Eyes Right

When I was a young college student (17 years old), I found myself spending lots of time alone in my dorm room. Realizing that I could only read so much, listen to so many cassette tapes, re-arrange the closet, I decided to venture out. I quickly ran into representatives from various churches, most notably, the Baptist Student Union.

It was a life-changing meeting for me, or at least, I hope it was. The BSU naturally offered me a place to be around other young college students. I came to look forward to their evening, once a week video series with enthusiasm. It was my first exposure to Christian speakers–aside from Mass and church. One of them was a man by the name of Tony Campolo. I truly enjoyed all his presentations, and after one of them, recognizing the futility of a life without divine purpose, I accepted Christ as my personal saviour.

I was reminded of this when I read this post at Ben Witherington’s blog sharing a sermon written by Craig Hill.

Whether or not we know God, the question that dominates our lives remains the same. At issue is where we look for the answer. The easiest thing to do, the thing that probably most of us do most of the time, is to follow the world’s lead, to buy (often literally) into a system of values that says, if only you could own this, or look like this, or do this, then you’d be happy, then your life would have meaning. But it is not real bread, it is not the stuff that satisfies. We are made for God, and only in God will we discover the meaning for which we long, and which is our birthright as God’s children.

At issue is WHERE we look. Wow, what a powerful idea. Imagine if I had stepped out with a fraternity rather than the BSU, where might my life had gone? Although I’d like to think I was smarter than a life of partying and drinking–my apologies to the sober and responsible fraternities–due to my social outcast experiences as a middle schooler, I am grateful that I felt comfortable enough to start looking at church.

This sermon reminded me of one I’d heard when I was 17 and in my freshman year of college. That story was told by Tony Campolo, a person whose words I greatly admired, but had never listened to again. So, since everyone is on the Web, I searched on Tony Campolo and discovered many of his sermons as audio files to download (subscribe to podcast feed as well). I encourage, urge you to go listen to him if you’ve never heard him before. The video of Tony Campolo speaking passionately, mopping his bald head humorously, is one that I can never forget.

The story is one I’ve heard again with different interpretations. However, perhaps because I heard it first, Tony Campolo’s version is the one I remember. It is about how, out of millions of sperm, I was the one. I was the one who had made it. I had run the race and won. While there might be more to it, that’s what I remember. This story touched me powerfully because it called attention to how special I was at a time when I didn’t feel very special at all. I had been picked on in middle school, and although I’d managed to forge new relationships in high school, I was still feeling very much alone and lonely. I knew I was vulnerable, that I had a choice to make. It was a reasoned choice, as strange as that sounds. That story, told by Tony Campolo, just affirmed me as a special person. The fact I needed that affirmation, and where that affirmation had to come from, made me aware.
Looking back to that night, when I sat with the BSU Pastor in his office, and accepted Christ as my personal saviour, I remember the feeling of being unable through sheer force of will to be a good person, to continue on. Like Michael Card in one of his songs, i decided to live like a believer, to accept I’m not up to the challenge by myself.

As I begin my first Christmas without my father, I am grateful of another time in my life when Dad wasn’t handy to provide the anchor in my life…my freshman year in college, when I was away. It was a time when I was filled with doubt, uncertainty, and I found fellowship a strange and wondrous experience. Through it all, I am grateful…yes, grateful that I accepted Christ that night so long ago, grateful that even though the world was a strange place, my first venture in it had people like the BSU folks to offer a smile and an encouraging word…and that they played Tony Campolo videos.

Now, over 20 years later, I can only feel gratitude that my Project was so well-defined early on, establish a foundation upon which I could move forward. That gratitude feels very much like peace.

I encourage you to read the Craig Hill’s sermon, as well as listen to Campolo.

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I am not a professional blogger, but I am married to one! This is my first, forced if truth be known, blog entry. My husband, three kids, and two dogs and I have recently moved to a great new city. My husband has a great job, and I just found out that I will have a new job begining next Tuesday. After staying home for the past eight years, I am going back to a full time job. The best thing is that it will allow me to continue my “real” full time job as a wife and mother. I’ve been very happy as a stay-home mom. I’ve actually enjoyed keeping my house clean, participating in play groups, and being an active member of the PTA.

I never would have imagined that I could work full time and still be able to pick my kids up after school and put them to bed each night. I think its great that businesses are allowing Moms to work flexible hours, get the job done, and still be there for their families. I am looking forward to getting out, meeting new people, and making a difference in the lives of others.

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I am thrilled to have found a wonderful Friday morning men’s fellowship group at our new church here in Edmond, Oklahoma, very similar to a Friday morning men’s group I participated in back in Lubbock for the past few years. Ever since I went to my first Promisekeepers event, which was probably back in 1998 or so, seeking the fellowship, accountability, laughter and levity of another group of Christian guys has become a very important part of my life.

Our Edmond men’s group is about 50 or 60 men strong each week, and one of the best things about it is that we have men who are all different ages. There are probably more retired guys than younger ones, but I think the age range is very good– it runs from 30s (I don’t think we have any in their 20s in there currently) up to 70s and maybe even 80s. Older guys have so much more “lived experiences” and wisdom than us young whippersnappers, that it is a great opportunity usually to just hang out and listen. I want to have the “margin” and perspective on life that these older guys do NOW, and not wait another forty years to get it. That is a real struggle, but hanging out with these fellows, listening to them and learning from them seems like a good recipie for learning their secrets. Maybe some of that patient, gentle spirit will rub off on me! I am not sure if it is working, but I think there’s a good chance it might be doing some good.

We have started a new book study on John Eldredge’s book, “Wild At Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul.” I read this book at least three years ago, it was published in in 2001– and I am so glad to have this encouragement to read the book again, reflect on it, and share about it with other guys. I am also very glad to have this blog as a place to record my thoughts and offer them up for feedback and response. I will try and “chunk” my ideas a bit better for this blog than I sometimes do for my primary blog– because I think people are more likely to read shorter posts and part of my purpose is to encourage dialog and responses.

The first excerpt I want to respond to from the book comes from page 10, in chapter 1. Eldredge writes:

Capes and swords, camouflage, bandannas and six-shooters– these are the uniforms of boyhood. Little boys yearn to know they are powerful, they are dangerous, they are someone to be reckoned with.

This reminds me of one of my favorite lines from the movie series “Star Wars.” This is from Episode VI, “Return of the Jedi,” and Darth Vader is speaking to Luke on the planet Endor before he takes him up to his star ship to meet the Emperor. Vader says:

Indeed you are powerful, as the Emperor has foreseen.

I love that statement and observation. Yes, Luke has grown powerful in his own right under the guidance of his mentors, Obi-Wan and Yoda. And now, his own father is recognizing him. All children yearn to be acknowledged and recognized by their parents, I think, for the men and women they have and are continuing to grow up to be.

I got in the habit many years ago of having my own children repeat certain phrases that I would tell them. I know that “self-talk” is very important in terms of shaping identity, and there are so many terrible messages in our popular culture today that reinforce the WRONG messages to both young people and adults alike. For my daughters, I often have them repeat the following after me:

I AM powerful.
I AM strong.
I AM beautiful.
I AM smart.
I AM a good thinker.
I AM good.
I AM nice.
I AM sweet.

I want my own children to speak this reality into their own lives: They ARE powerful because God has created them in his own image to be his children, and to do his work. He has equipped them each with talents and gifts that they are called to discover and to use, and part of my role as their father is to help them discover their identity and learn at the end of the day– or rather on the path of their own journey of faith, that they each ARE powerful…. Powerful beyond words, or as Miguel has written before, “powerful beyond measure.”

I think it is very important as parents, teachers and just adults in our society that we help empower young people to believe in themselves and in the calling which they each have in this world to do important work. I have no idea what my children will do in the future, but I do know that I want them to move forward into that future with confidence and sureity about WHOSE they are, and how wonderfully he has crafted them to be his agents on this often dark planet.

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